Longing heart,
We shed tears
Out of love.
Gracefully You
Hold me in
Your glow.

Nothing goes by
You
Who lets me enter
Your kingdom,
Fragrant roses
Awaiting another dawn.

Pain lets us decide
To go deeper
Into Your darkness
Or run from it,
Awaiting crucifixion
Patiently.

Jesus’s path right
On my shoulders,
We sway in eternity.
Gently breathing
My body goes to sleep in Jerusalem.

Breathless you move
Me through the night.
Ecstasy has left
Me
And all is dark from
Where I can see.

Knowing not what
To do
I face uncertainty
And let go.

Let the breath flow
Out so easily.
Never to return
Unless You grant
me surrender.

Some of us are made restless.
It is one’s nature.
One or two years in a place and we need to move.
It is not out of boredom, out of anxiety or out of fear, but it seems to be a desire to move and experience new things, meet new people.

It seems to be contra-intuitive for one’s evolution to stay in one place.
It has been like this since I was young and no one in my family is like this.
I have this constant urge to move to different countries. It is what my fabric of being is made of.

I have lived in so many countries yet have always taken myself with me. This does not change. Once the novelty wears off, one has to deal with one’s inner turmoil and one’s issues. Things that one has not sorted out yet come to the surface. It has always been that way for me.
Yet, I become so tired when staying in one place. It is as if the weight of the whole world descends upon one and one needs to constantly shift perspective in order to evolve. Otherwise one gets stuck.

I see this in people: They get stuck, they don’t risk anything. They are uncomfortable being comfortable, but there is no form of evolution, no form of love that keeps on expanding. There seems to be only a desire to stay in one’s own patterns.

To get out of these patterns one needs to understand one’s own nature and try to expand one’s consciousness. And the easiest way to do that is to travel.
Covid has put a downer on this department, but bit by bit countries have been opening back up and at a certain point I am certain that things will move again. In a different way than before, because we are all seeing the effects of global warming right now, but it will happen again without all this confusion. Things will become slower again and we will see a different kind of population emerge. The ones that care about the environment, the ones that care about other human beings and animals, the ones that are born highly elevated. Those who are ancient yet will feel so light and new. Like roots of an old tree that grow into Mother Earth. Like temples of long forgotten deities that spiral through the Universe.
Those will be the ones calling in a new era of living. Cities will disappear, cars will seize to exist, and a new yet old way of living will be emerging.

There will be a different way of behavior in the future. And so us vagabonds look forward to a lifestyle that will be more sustainable than ever.

Vanessa

Very often, when I used to teach meditation, people reported seeing a blue/green aura around me. There is also gold descending, but that may be another thing going on.
It made me wonder for many years why I was not having these normal colors that everyone else was talking about. Why was my auric field this color. I have always loved blue and indigo, so it made me want to look further.

There is this theory about children being born 1978 and later throughout the 80s- they are called indigo children. They come into this world as already highly developed beings. They are sensitive, have extremely high levels of empathy, are creative, they love people but prefer being alone. They love nature, they usually have some psychic gifts that show up when they are really young, etc.
When I read it, I finally had my answer. It always felt as if I did not have a buffer that most people have. People usually report of not feeling things so much. Well, that is definitely not me. I feel it all: The weird, the beautiful, the joy, the love, the hatred, the greed,… It continues to surprise me and having worked in the entertainment industry for many years, I now understand why I was never able to be like others. There is no buffer and I absorb peoples’ things. Partially it is quite the drag to go out into public like this, but on the other hand I would not trade it for anything. Hence, no healing modalities work for me. I have tried many things over the years and it usually throws my system way off.

But the world of indigos is colorful: It is a scintillating world. One sees nature in vivid colors, one can love wholeheartedly, there exist no shallow friendships or hastiness in one’s acquaintances, one prefers peace over quarrels, and one becomes quite ill if stressed or over-burdened with work or other life problems. We are the ones that uplift peoples’ souls, people heal in our vicinity and awaken to their truth. We are the ones to give you a shove in the butt in order to get off of your high horse or alternatively to get going. We are the ones who make you see your deepest woundings, your failings, your ego issues, and most likely we will be triggered ourselves in order to evolve even further.
That world is one full of opportunities, one of magic, and wonderment. Most people live in fear and ego-patterns, whereas we are trying to get out of it. We are the mirrors to your largest problems, our vibration triggers old wounds and hatred. But we stand tall in the midst of adversity.

We were all bullied and being told that we could not live a life full of beauty and love.
Even in the most treacherous of situations we can find a speck of love, of great beauty and are touched by eternal Grace.
Sometimes we may be down about the state of the world and the egotistical patterns, but then we move into an upwind and go about our inner world again as if the world that is going crazy, does not exist and that we are creating things of our own understanding and our own inner strength and wisdom. It is a wisdom that is inaccessible to most.
Whatever we read becomes the naked truth and we try to uplift everyone around us. It is not an easy task as most times it is hard business, but by being true to ourselves, we convey the message to others that there is another way.
You do not have to suffer, you can be free.

The greater the light, the larger the responsibility.
So get off of your cushions, get out and about. See the truth in all and everything. Spread love. When others are down, uplift them.
Do not be shy.

Be radiant!
Be a loner.
Whatever you wish to be, you can be just that.

Vanessa