The essence of life

I’ve been trying to heal for so long that it often seems mission impossible. Doctors cannot find anything, nothing helps anymore and even Shakti is at her wit’s end. It has been an ongoing process for many years now. And apart from the missing soul pieces that we are trying to hunt down and to bring back, I still feel that sometimes it does not make any sense the way that we are living. It seems a bit pointless to just go to work, pay bills, and then go home. I have everything I need: Food, friends, a job, I have enough hobbies, and well, there’s the ongoing awakening… Maybe I am not simple enough, it could be that. But maybe there is more to it than that.

This is a bit off topic, but bear with me for a moment and indulge me in some story telling: Recently I decided not to buy books anymore. There are some book spaces in the city where you can borrow books and then put them back. There are some terrible ones that I have gone through but also some really great ones. Often clues come in books to me, so I remain curious every time I pick a new one. At the moment I am reading a book about two guys who fled World War two and instead spent a few years in the Namib desert, hiding there, hunting and living a very hard life.
Today, as I was having another restless moment that I have always had somehow since I was young, I read one of their many musings while being cut off from society. One of them was wondering whether our society may be so ill due to the softness of life. He goes further as to explain that their every day life was extremely harsh, sometimes they starved, sometimes they went thirsty, but they did feel very satisfied by it. He mentions that maybe our society lacks this endurance and this is what creates perpetual war mongering. Maybe he is onto something, I am starting to wonder. Because how come after all these hundreds of years, with technology expanding every day, that we are unable to live a peaceful life? Is it this which hinders us?
Certainly, there is greed and violence as a basis, but there must be something underlying here that all of us are missing. Even when I was young, I already wondered about these sort of things. It never made sense to me to go to school and then go home and study all the time. The other kids never seemed to question this. How come I was asking myself this question and no one else did?

Everyone seems to be so content with the system. I feel that, even though we have a lot of advantages, our system is utterly flawed. We are trying to push people through the exact same education with a little bit of a difference, then have them study or learn a job and then that’s it for the rest of your life. This is not enough for me. It just doesn’t do.

Sometimes I experience moments of great peace, of love, and of purity, but city life seems empty and just so busy. Everyone is running around like headless chicken. No one knows what they are doing, and most of them are discontent. Even the atmosphere in cities is like that. It is frantic, hectic, discontent. But people do not realize it.

What about the satisfaction that we all should get from life? We all have a right to it and we do not have to follow a system that is utterly flawed.

I do feel that the key still lies in living a life in harmony with nature instead of roaming around in cities that are devoid of true essence and power.


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