Is it reality or an illusion

Lately I have been contemplating that my spiritual search has been a bit of a selfish one over the past few years. It came all about as I got very ill about nine years ago and I went into a path of self-discovery and trying to heal from something that is becoming more and more of an illusion.

As I was reading yet another spiritual book, sitting yet with another teacher, it started to dawn on me that maybe this is still another form of illusion that one can buy into. For sure there is the benefit of sitting with an enlightened teacher. There is no denying that. But all my other striving in this area is maybe something that is unnecessary as one is unable to proceed any quicker than the soul wants one to evolve. It is impossible. The soul has a set form or a few values that one needs to follow and if the ego or the mind interfere then it becomes another rat race.

So maybe on a soul level I do not want to do another spiritual lifetime like many others. Maybe I just want to evolve emotionally more. I think that it seems to be more of a task to me. I do get moments of intense bliss and love, but then the ego structure comes back and one is catapulted into another set of learning situations. It is how us humans evolve. Someone said once to me: Life is like a learning curve just without any form of graduation. You just need to be.

So maybe I just really need to learn to evolve emotionally and stop hunting after things that are non existent for others. After all: what is the point of this journey if one cannot exist under “normal” circumstances? I still don’t think that this is the point of this journey at all. One can have tons of spiritual gifts, but if one does not know how to drive the Ferrari, then what is the point?

So after all these years I would say that I have learned a lot about myself, but that I need to be more patient with others, that I am completely fallible as a human being, that there will always be challenges that we cannot foresee. That there will always be miracles along the way. Sometimes large ones and sometimes small ones. But each day we encounter a little one at least once.

So that is the point of life: Watching out for the little miracles.
Sometimes it is a smile from a stranger, sometimes a helping hand when you are in need, sometimes a freebie, sometimes the teacher will help, sometimes a stranger on the street will give you a compliment, sometimes it is a large amount of creativity that comes your way. There are many things happening and we are often too blind to notice because we are all swallowed up in our own misery.

So all in all I can say that life is the miracle itself. Put aside any spiritual and psychic phenomena and you got a whole lot of wondrous occasions that never get old.


Vanessa