Last week, as I was shuffling to work, I passed by one of the book shelves that are residing in the city. It had just been filled and I like taking a look at what’s inside. Sometimes weeks pass and there is nothing that peaks my interest and then there are weeks when I find a good amount of books that resonate. It is always as if the book shelve itself speaks to me.

One of those days I found a thin and long book with a beautiful photography of a Tibetan boy. Prayer flags were happily floating in the background. Some of the mountains that I remember so well, I could almost picture myself living there or being the boy in the picture. The title read “Tashi’s New World”. It struck a cord so I took it with me.

On Sunday afternoon when the city had quietened down and people are staying at home more often, the energies of the world had settled, I picked it up and read the story.
It talked about a little boy named Tashi who was living in a village in the mountains. One day he was in the hut with his grandmother when a demon came swooshing through the chimney. Tashi only felt that something was going on whereas his grandmother saw the demon and was shaking with fright. She asked the demon why he would want to harm the boy. The demon answered that his father had trimmed a bush that he was living in and did not honor him. Therefore the boy must pay- it was his karma. The boy fell terribly ill and when he woke up many weeks later his world had turned dark. He had been blinded by the demon.

After a few weeks Tashi learned that his world was not so dark, but rather a new world full of sounds, smells, and touch: He knew who was passing by when and where, heard the different animals and was able to feel their states of emotion. He started to tell the most beautiful stories to other children and when they closed their eyes they saw the images right in front of them as if they were real. As he was not allowed to go to school because of his blindness he was offered a job as a goatherd. He knew where all the goats were hiding because he could hear their different sounds of the bells.
He was very happy with his life until one day two women passed by and told him about a school for blind children that they would open in Lhasa. They told him to come once it was open.
Tashi became overjoyed and told his demon about it. It would be wonderful. But afterwards he started having doubts that he may have dreamt the whole thing up.

A few years later a caravan came to his hometown that would make its way to Lhasa. He remembered the two women and the school for the blind. Even though he was troubled by doubts, he asked to go with the caravan. An old nomad became his friend and Tashi knew he had to find his dharma. The first nights were horrible for him as he was taken away from his demon, from his family, and friends, and also lost his job as a goatherd. He cried bitterly out of his loneliness and for the things he had lost.
After many months of hard travel they finally arrived in Lhasa and to their surprise found a blind boy who led them to the school.
Tashi stayed for many years and when he finally returned to visit his family, he had many stories to tell. As he was with his teacher, they decided to greet Tashi’s demon, give him some food, and tell him that he was protected during a night when demons were traditionally chased out of their hidings in Tibet. He thanked his demon for making his life so filled with joy and adventure.
The next morning the food was gone, but no one knew whether it was Tashi’s demon, the goats, or maybe one of the other animals that roamed the planes….


We never know what demons may be good for. Sometimes a situation may seem very horrible but out of it something so beautiful will be created that we may never have experienced that beauty unless it was for our own inner demons. In my heart I would say that Tashi would have never been able to appreciate going to school as much as he did when he was blind. When everything runs “normal” we hardly ever give any second thought to what we already have, but what we are lacking.

And so maybe you should feed the demon in your home or garden to appease them and to give you a hand… You never know what may come out of it


Vanessa

“Who if I cried out would hear me among the angels’ hierarchies? And even if one of them pressed me suddenly against his heart: I would be consumed in that overwhelming existence.”

• Rainer Maria Rilke

What an intense year it has been for all of us. It has passed by so rapidly that I feel that I had hardly time for anything else, but moving in circles. Covid made it all bizarre, as if caught in limbo. The war in the Ukraine overshadowing Europe once more, prices are on the rise, but on the other hand it made people become more aware of what they truly want in life.

A few months ago a young guy (maybe 16 or 17) came into the store with his friend. They were both looking for gifts for their Mum. As the store was almost empty I helped them pick out gifts. This guy did not have enough money, but because he was so enamored by the package, I told him I will gift the rest of the money to him. It wasn’t much. Just two euros. He felt embarrassed, but accepted the gift. He promised to come back and give me the money. I said that it’s okay- it is a gift.
I had forgotten all about it and months had passed. Last week there was a day when I felt that something extraordinary was happening: A client came in and he asked me if I spoke english and if I could help him. I asked him where he was from. He said he was from Egypt. So I exclaimed that it must be extremely beautiful. He said that it was and that he loved living there. He gave me a bookmark with Egyptian hieroglyphs on it as a gift, as if he knew that I liked reading and had none. I thanked him and was wondering what was going on. What a nice surprise gift.
A few hours later the young guy from a few months earlier came back in and said that he had been waiting for me to have a shift. He gave me back the two euros. I felt very touched that someone so young would keep his word. Of course he was starting to look for another gift, so we chatted a little bit. He said he would come back next week when I would work, so we could pick out another gift for his Mum for her birthday.

Then another Lady came in and said that she was very difficult with choosing gifts and that apparently everyone at the store has had issues with giving her a hand. She wanted for gift baskets. So I said to her: Why don’t you go and pick what you like and then we’ll see what we can make out of it. I asked the Divine Mother for help so that it would turn out great.
And it did. It was very easy. She picked everything herself and said she would run some errands while I was making the baskets. It all went smoothly and I told her that it was my energy, that’s why she found everything and it wasn’t a problem. She looked at me and said: “Indeed, this is right. Because with everyone else it was so difficult.” We smiled at each other in complicity and she came to the back with her car and we loaded the gifts in.

Why am I telling you this story?
Because no matter what you are grappling with, may it be foul health, an awakening process that is lasting like a million years, maybe you are struggling with emotions like anger, or helplessness. Maybe you are feeling lonely. I would like to tell you that, no matter what, there is always hope and that there are people out there who will uplift you, even when you are having a hard time. Even when you are having dark moments of doubt and life seems to be giving you a hard time, there are people who will speak to you and you will feel as if touched by Grace, by compassion, and benevolence.

That was such a day. Amidst my own difficult year, there is light that is shining brightly and I felt deeply touched that day by small amounts of benevolence and little miracles of every day life.


Have you experienced benevolence lately?

Vanessa

“Don’t leave me, even for an hour, because 
then the little drops of anguish will all run together, 
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift 
into me, choking my lost heart.”

– Pablo Neruda


Yesterday I experienced emotional pain. Another date, another strange experience. How come, I asked myself and looked into my heart. It said it was not the right one. People are scared of love.

A little while later at work a co-worker explained her view on love: She said that sometimes one does not need love to get married. Looking at her quizzically she expanded further. I shall spare you the details. This is no form of judgement, just an observation. She was thoroughly convinced of this idea.
When she left it took me a while to recover from this idea of hers. I contemplated it nonetheless, giving a fair chance to it. Why not? If I only ever see my point of view, how can I be certain that another’s point may not hold some form of validity.
But after a while I realized that I disagree for I thoroughly believe in love. In an eternal love.
Love that is so strong that nothing can break it. A love that is like fire, igniting all those around me. A love so intense that people must become blinded by the very fact that one is alive and burning with this love. A love that is so shining and brilliant, yet soft and beautiful that all must perish in its vicinity. No darkness can be left in its radar.

In the night I was sent yet another dream of a man I do not know and that love between us was so intense that no one could come in between. That is what I know to be true in my heart. It is an intense love, one that is passionate yet liberating, one that is quiet and peaceful, one that allows mistakes and the forgiveness of them. It allows for peace to enter one’s heart and to let this tremendous love unfold.

So no, I do not believe that one does not need love to get married. One needs tremendous amounts of love to get into any relationship of any sort.
How could you stay with someone who does not love you as you are?
It would be impossible.

So please love as if there was no tomorrow.
Do not listen to others who have lost their way.
Love as if the world was full with it, because that is the nature of God.
And love is the one thing that is always accessible wherever you are at and whatever situation you may encounter.
It is the only cure there is.

Be love. Do not get discouraged by others.
Stay there.


Vanessa