Free will

“Lord, make me a channel of Your peace, that
Where there is hatred, I may
bring love;…”

– St. Francis of Assisi


Each human being that is born into this world, has a million angels by their side. They watch over us, guide us, and interfere only when absolutely necessary.
It is for the free will of a human being that they may interfere continuously or rather aid. When we are born, even though we are already divine emanations, we are given free will to experience life as we choose. Only when we turn our face inwards and listen to that silent voice that is oh so persistent, can we finally free ourselves from the shackles of self-imposed suffering. Because also suffering is often free will or a karmic imprint that we must go through. It does not mean that it is a punishment, but as explained in the little story of Tashi and the demon, sometimes demons serve to wake us up. We are capable of so much love, yet we forget it all. And as Rabia of Basra once said, it is only through suffering and doubt that we awaken to great faith. If we look into history, many Saints and Sages, even though highly enlightened, suffered many physical ailments. Hildegard von Bingen, besides her intense visions of God, was said to have been terribly ill. I often wonder what it must have been like for her to receive this intense light, these visions, and carry out these visions. I read a book about her once and she must have possessed immense internal strength. Besides her periods of illness she wrote, she studied plants, constructed an abbey and was never too tired to pray! I cannot imagine what it must have been like.

And so it is with the human being that we have free will to get lost in materialism, to throw away our life in the pursuit of strange things that make us none-the-richer on the inside. You know that you are getting closer to divinity when your wishes start becoming true and you no longer have any attachment towards them. It is very bizarre to experience for it is like a puzzle that one must unravel to embark on any path. The path of life itself. Sometimes one struggles with their ego again or their thoughts, sometimes one gets lost in old habits again or the mind digs out pieces of the past. It is sometimes a maddening affair. One year I remember that I was walking down the streets of Luxembourg and struggling with some of my behavioral patterns that I used to have when I was younger. I felt great shame overcome me, but then the message was conveyed internally: God has already forgiven you.
So we must learn to forgive ourselves, because if we are sincere in our wish to embark on a path, then we are forgiven a long time before the mind encounters difficulties. We are pardoned immediately for it is only the human being that can hold onto grudges and believes in punishment, much like with feelings of guilt and shame.

We must accept our own free will. That is all one needs.
When one comprehends this, we are free to choose and take responsibility for our actions and inactions in life. Only then we will see the path being cleared.


Have you chosen free will lately?


Vanessa

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