“It was easy to love God in all that was beautiful. The lessons of deeper knowledge though, instructed me to embrace God in all things.”
– St. Francis of Assisi
Peace, no matter where we go, can be not only profound, but accessed at all times. It is not a matter of meditating hours on end, but to find in that turmoil that life can be. They are moments of peace. It is in finding that peace that we can access love. With this love, all hatred must die and acceptance of all that is can come out. It is easy to find peace in beautiful surroundings, but the question is whether we can access this peace wherever we are at?
Can you do that?
Sometimes my episodes of peace are so profound that I dare not to breathe for I become fearful that if I took yet another breath that it would end.
Coming back to the city from the mountains was extremely difficult to say the least. The turmoil of my surroundings and its inhabitants hit me and I know now why I become ill all the time. But is it no God that wants me here right now? Is it not amidst this madness that I am being taught to find peace?
It is the quiet voice of God that I must find within the chaos, the eye of the storm. I must become so peaceful and full of gaiety, even in the worst of circumstances that nothing can throw me off the path.
Recently I encountered someone who was talking about conspiracy theories, about governments being corrupt, about newspapers printing fake news, etc. I nearly vomited when I listened to this. Of course there is some extent of truth in this, I do agree. But I have seen that things are running just as they should be running. There is a divine plan behind this. I have seen this many times. We may not know why or how, but even in the most cruel of circumstances, unfortunately, there is a plan behind.
So now I am starting to see that I never go anywhere purely for myself, but rather for others. It is not me who moves somewhere, who becomes restless. There seems to be a larger force at hand.
Yesterday I went to learn portrait photography from someone and when I thought it was for myself, I was very much mistaken. While being there, I understood that this person who was teaching me, needed to wake up. That they must awaken to their divine plan and question life. I have encountered numerous people in my life who told me: “I do not want to awaken.” Little do they know that it is not up to them to decide this, much like I never decide on whom I meet or to awaken myself. I am being sent to places and to people, either for my own learning curve or for others to learn and to awaken to their truth. If they are too resistant I am moving on, still knowing that this energy will work its way through them. One day, like Mrs. Tweedie once said to someone, they will awaken and question their life. They will question why they have been wasting their time on silly pursuits. It can even happen a few times in life. But this I have no control over. They are being touched by Grace. It is up to them to listen to this call. I am merely the instrument, the (fallible human) mirror to show them who they really are. It is not easy, because there are our petty ego and mind who have become a driving force in our society. But there is something that tells me to go to places and see people. And it is always beyond miraculous. I can never describe this feeling. Some people help me, sometimes angels in human form appear (angels always appear in human form!), some I help myself. Or rather they are being helped through me. I never know what may happen at any given day. Sometimes I think: My goodness, nothing is happening, when in fact, a lot of things are happening right underneath the surface.
I was always under the impression that Kundalini Shakti needed to be very active and running all the time, but it is not so. She will run slightly in the background. The moment she is running heavily, it is up to me to ask: “What is Thy will?” It is up to me to say: “Let me be humble, with devotion and surrender to Thee.”
The surges indicate that one is moving in the wrong direction and needs to understand that one’s life is the one of service.
So yesterday, learning photography, there was such tiny movement that I hardly noticed it at all if I did not pay much attention to it. It must have been the right thing to “do”. At work she is running heavily and runs wild, so it must not be the right thing to do. This is my compass from now onwards: Crazy motions of Kundalini Shakti and it is not the right thing. Hardly any movement and it is the right thing to do.
My lesson now is to love all that is averse to beauty. With a deep sigh I must accept the thief, the cruel demeanor, even the tirades of some aggressive people. I must accept that God has a plan. Mrs. Tweedie’s Guru once said to her that when people are angry with him, one must learn to accept that God is angry with one. Then one must ask where one has gone wrong or maybe just accept that God can also have a wrathful form. The tightrope becomes thinner all the time I must say and one walks razor’s edge. One wrong word and one can fall rather deeply, being cut up by sharp rocks that do not brace our fall but accelerate it. It is through pain and suffering that we learn, not through beauty.
And so I must learn to surrender at all times, to love at all times, and to find peace underneath all that rubble that presents itself sometimes.
Have you embraced all things today?