Darkness I

In darkness I wandered
And felt all his might.
My body shuddered in
Deep fright.
Tiptoeing amongst the beasts
I did not dare to look
East,
Towards my million suns
That had just begun
To rise.

In all their glory they
Overshadowed me,
The heat so callously
Overtaking my
Body.
I did not dare to
Even undress
To bear
This hell on Earth.

Pain so overhwelmingly
tight
Around my chest,
I felt a big weight.
My nerves
Hissing not able to unwind
And devote my life
To heaven,
I started to believe that
This must be
It.

On charcoals
My feet were walking,
They burnt even hotter,
My hands shining red hot,
They matched my frock,
That I was carrying
To remind me of civilzations
Long gone
With the wind
That was blowing around
My head.

Freezing besides the heat
I muttered:”I admit defeat.”
But nothing came of it,
Testing my faith in utterly
Desolate circumstances,
I found myself
Taking no chances.

Seemed I had run out of luck
And got stuck in hell
Where I burn
Just to yearn for a life
Of the living.

Walking amongst the dead,
Lit up,
I could not bare to stand tall
For the fall from such great heights
Might be what put me out of sight
Of my angel’s wings.
Forgive and forget,
She said,
But I could not remember her words,
Truth be told,
My head was lost
And my brain
Burst forth
Into
A gibberish
I did not know.

Heaven,
I pleaded to understand my position
Here,
The wolves
Walking by my side,
I did not know if they were me
Or I was them.
Confusion settled in about who
Or what I was,
I could not tell
Where I ended
And others began.
My heart pounding
Of their emotions fears, their lies,
And gallantry,
I decided I must be brave
And face this agony.

Words are power,
This much I remembered,
I took a deep breath,
Chanted
My words of freedom
And trembled
With such love
That all the heat came off.
Return to sender,
I screamed at them,
Whatever they wish upon me
May be returned.

In search for happiness
I must’ve gotten lost in
Some strange play.
I could not say
For my life was at stake.

Tremors moving through me
It shook my little body
Deliberately.
My stomach in knots,
Holding on tight to what
I once knew.

Let go,
It screamed within me.
And so I turned to
My million
Rising suns
To burn forever and in eternity.


Vanessa