Ascension

Mother Kali in action: I knew it before it happened.

Last week I fell ill with ascension flu. It was all this new energy coursing through my body, my cells renewing at a rapid rate. I had to stay in bed as even then I could hardly move from bed to stove, to bathroom and sometimes into my little lovely garden.

I got back from it and knew that my job was over. The same day I got handed the resignation in a real aggressive way. It was not the resignation but how it went down.
Nonetheless, I understood that it is a forced break as my body is unable to handle all this physical work and more so all these different energies throughout the day. It has become mission impossible.
For the whole afternoon I swayed in between shock, the stress from the last months releasing, relief, and to my surprise, white hot rage. In the afternoon it was complete stillness and then at night “manas”, the mind woke me up and all these emotions started creating havoc. It was a dissonant energy concoction and event hough I tried to surrender to it, I felt unable to stop it, so instead, I tried to acknowledge all these things coming up and saying: It’s okay, I am human. It’s normal to feel all this Other people bottle everything up and then they don’t know.

The day after I was shaking because of all of it.
And then it was as if someone pulled a plug.
All energy went out and as I had been given the choice to remain home for the remainder of the two weeks I said I will take it. I saw no reason to stand there anymore.

Now, I am finally without a job, my car broke down completely this week as well, and I have a feeling that I just want to rest now.
Modern life is really stressful.

The Divine Mother seems to have a plan and now I wait for her to reveal it.

Whatever it may be, I am to surrender to it. She let me have my way for a year and a half, but now it’s over and I am to oblige. One does not always have a choice in this Divine Lila. Some things are just meant to be…


Patience is back on the menu…


Vanessa