“God never forsakes anyone.”
– Messages from the angels
Of course as always, my ego has been struggling with accepting its defeat. Wanting to be more, wanting to be someone or something, it was resisting yet another phase of the heart becoming more open. Lion’s gate came and went and with its impact has removed a lot of debris that I came here to shed. There was a lot of fear moving out and has left me tired and drained as always. One day I was unable to stand it and so I decided to drown myself in Netflix, which has become an extremely rare occasion.
The previous days I went to visit a church and the synagogue here in Essen, but I felt that it left me non-the-wiser. I just knew that I had to go. As mentioned in my previous post, I felt that I had to maybe become part of one or the other religion. It had something to do with past lifetimes where I had belonged to each one of them and many more that are not known these days, but visiting these places of worship, I came to the conclusion once more that I can worship God in my heart wherever I go.
Sufis say that each person is an emanation of God and that they have the direct link. The heart is the key to it all. All other energy centers will open eventually once the heart has been sufficiently opened.
So instead of dwelling in yet another place of “official” worship I made my peace with the fact that in this lifetime I do not need to belong to any of them.
And so the last days have been full of wonder: Angelic messages are coming in, the voice of God is back, quiet and peaceful, books are coming to me about angels and their appearance in peoples’ lives as humans. The mouthpieces of others have always something to tell me if I just listen and don’t let my petty ego get in the way. I realized that wanting to belong to a religion is yet another form of egotistical pattern. It is a way of saying I am right and the others are wrong, unless we are able to accept all religions and paths of faith.
I had been wondering where my angels had gone. Had God forsaken me in this time of illness?
Was he looking the other way?
But yesterday was a day full of wonder and so my Holy Guardian angel conveyed the message form above: “God never forsakes anyone.”
And how could he? It is impossible as God is experiencing himself through us.
He needs to experience all our suffering and all our joy. So how could I ever complain about all my issues when His are so much larger. It is a petty understanding of my own ego to be wanting to not suffer, but in a way my suffering serves the understanding that God never forsakes anyone after all. He is guiding us through our lives and so do the angels. So how could I ever even be so hypocritical to think that I would be forsaken even for one second.
It is impossible.
If you have been struggling with things then maybe it is time to take a few steps back, take a deep breath and relax. And only listen to what is coming from inside. That very quiet voice that hardly ever speaks, that is the voice you need to listen to. It will only say loving and kind things unlike the ego that nags and will want to put you down.
So never listen to that petty voice and go for the kind and loving one that will always have your back.
We always believe ourselves to be so independent from everything and everyone when in reality life is an interdependent play of divine consciousness.
Yesterday morning I decided I needed to come clean with some religions. You may wonder why. It felt like something from past lifetimes where I have been a part of one or the other religion. So I felt that it was time to explore whether I needed to belong to one or the other (or even another) in this current lifetime. First I went to the Dome here in Essen. As I have a strong connection with Holy Mary, I felt that it was a good start. There is a golden statue of Holy Mary on display. The Dome held nothing of the Holy vibration that I feel at the Dome in Aachen, but nonetheless it is a place of worship. I sat in front of the statue and instead of her displaying her bedazzling energy, there was so much light emanating from me that I thought the cleaning Lady who was about would most likely faint. In another corner there was another interesting display at hand: A man named Nikolaus Groß who displayed enormous courage during World War II and went against the Nazi regime. He wrote letters out of prison to his family saying that he was having conversations with God. He mentioned that he would not support such a regime and would pray.
I realized that I came to see this rather than the statue of Holy Mary. Even though I love my Saints and Sages, I realized that even any commoner can do it. Especially in this day and age when all is accessible right here and now. We can all be elevated and have our close connection to God. All we need is faith.
I left the church and passed through the inner courtyard which was beautiful and looked like out of a movie. I also came to see that.
As I was already close by, I felt that it was time to visit the old synagogue that rests around the corner of the dome. On my way there psychic images of World War II came into my head and I had to fight hard not to follow them. Essen has a grueling history and living here as a psychic is not very easy. Some parts of the city are absolutely beautiful and some are just terrible. The synagogue was closed and only to open in another ten minutes. So I decided to wait and take a look at the heavy iron clad doors with their ornaments. Some made sense: The snake, some Hebrew writings for protection, some diagrams that I am not so familiar with. In the middle there was a display of a magical hand gesture. I remember reading about it in one of Dion Fortune’s writings, but could not remember the meaning of it. It looked alien to me. When the doors opened I had a sense of dread. It is not because of the history of Word War II, but the whole place felt off.
As no one was there they let me visit for free, but the place was heavy and dense with pain and suffering. The energy was not elevating or spiritual. It felt off. I wished that someone would clear the whole thing. When standing at the top and looking down at the altar, I felt that this was not a good place to be at. The whole of it felt off. Even though I have visited Jerusalem and was a few weeks in Tel Aviv where I experienced a lot of mystical things, this one did not go down well.
I left utterly fatigued and drained and had to go home immediately where I slept off the remnants of pain and suffering.
The underlying message was that I am not to be with any form of religion in this lifetime. Neither resonated with me. It felt like too much psychic noise was interfering with being able to receive anything of value.
And so I felt once more that spirituality is something different in this day and age, something that comes from within. It is not taught but rather infused by spirit one aims to experience unconditional love and to heal from within.
I marked yesterday as yet another excursion into the land of the strange and psychic but it gave a good clearing for me to understand my own consciousness.
May you all find your path in this lifetime.
“And as for the likeness of their
faces, each of the four had the face
Of a man and the face of a lion on
The right side; each of the four
had the face of an ox and the face of
an eagle on the left side.”
– EZEKIEL 1.10
…and as silence fell upon my wretched body
The angel stood behind me
In all her glory.
She stood there
And watched over me.
In the white chapel
I was alone
While God’s Grace descended
Upon my being.
Tears streamed form my
I asked the angel who she was
And why she was behind me.
She answered that otherwise
I would die of fright.
So mesmerizing and brilliant was her splendor
That I dared not to turn
And so she continued to tell me the
Tale of the rivers of
Pishon, Gihon, Euphrates, and Tigris.
Not three of them but four
Were the human streams of consciousness
To abide by.
All four of them
Together made the human
So that each of them could guide us through life.
Each angel to take us underneath their wings.
Faith as the important pillar in the middle
Would guide one through one’s life.
Love can never be discarded and
One must look for beauty
wherever one may go.
She said to pass once more
To find my way through
All that does not serve.
As the devils left
A weight had lifted from
No longer was I bound by law of man
But the one of beauty and love.
All fell silent as the angel disappeared
Leaving me once more
To question whether this was real.